Surely I can't be the only person who tries to please everyone all the time, right? That whole "caring too much" thing is killer. Nothing wrong with helping out and such, but I've got to get a handle on trying to be there for everyone all the time. I just can't do it. Sure wish I could, though. Doesn't mean I care any less for my friends and family, I just know that I have tons of problems to deal with on a personal level and have subconsciously ignored them by helping others; pushing myself deeper and deeper into depression and lonlieness. Lately I've stayed in my own little bubble and have gone to work and that's about it. I make it to church when I can and/or feel up to it. Sometimes I don't really feel stable enough to go anywhere. I can only hope that people don't think I'm ignoring them or don't care. The "happy face" can only look happy for so long...I believe my alarm went off and its time to face reality. I can't handle the breakdowns and near panic attacks. The total blah feeling all the time. Self-doubt. Sleeping to avoid daylight and dealing with stuff. Guess its time to get some help...
Rachel, I can relate to this on so many levels. I will not, will not preach to you, because it would only hurt my own toes. I am glad you have had this awakening. You need to put yourself first for a while (second, to God). You need to take care of yourself and get yourself healthly both mentally and physically! Just know that I will be here for you. Love ya girl!
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