The confession list...

This will probably be something I add to randomly, but its pretty blunt, so read at your own risk....

1. I am one of the most insecure people on earth.
2. I have major issues believing people actually like me for me.
3. I cry so much that its pretty sad.
4. I don't often let people see me cry or know that I've cried unless its during a church service.
5. I hate that pcos/infertility has taken over so much of my thoughts....basically my life.
6. Jealousy is rampant in the life of one with pcos.
7. The fine line between being jealous of pregnant people and being happy for them fades more and more each time I learn of another pregnancy and/or birth.
8. I don't want people thinking I'm rude or mean if I avoid baby showers. Most of the time there's a legitimate reason for missing them...like work....boo!
9. I wish people could feel even one day's worth of heart break I feel.
10. I wish I could completely give this struggle to Jesus, but I'm human.
11. I wish I didn't feel like wanting a child is vain.
12. I want people to see that despite the pain, I have hope and faith.
13. I want to be a better friend to anyone and everyone.
14. There are some friendships that have passed away in my life that I don't miss.
15. There are many that I do miss.
16. I feel like I've let so much of my life pass me by that its almost pointless to start now.
17. I don't know who I am anymore. I'm kinda unsure that I ever did....